I recently wrote about the benefits of scheduling a Financial Health Day ["F.H.D."] and I want to follow up with you to show how profitable such a day can be. One of my private financial therapy clients was inspired to take a Financial Health Day and I share her story here with you [with permission and a name change, of course!] along with some of my personal musings on the process.

Amy, a journalist and writer, initially came to me for money coaching because she was living in financial chaos and knew she was not earning her worth. She has made a lot of progress in these areas, but it was her recent F.H.D. that really amped things up and showed her the bottom line profitability of nurturing her relationship with money.

One of the ways that Amy’s underearning manifested has been her difficulty with billing for contracted writing assignments. During her F.H.D., she completed her outstanding invoicing and is now anticipating the $3,200 in income it represents.

She also rarely submitted for reimbursement for meals with ’sources’ for the articles she wrote for an ongoing gig. During the daylong date with her money, she gathered all these invoices and submitted them for reimbursement…to a total of $750! And in doing so, Amy was able to devise a system that will make this reimbursement process much more streamlined going forward.

One of the tasks she planned to accomplish on her F.H.D. was to review her bank statements and reconcile her checking account. In doing so, she came across some questionable charges. A quick and painless call to the bank earned her $75 credited back to her account. And, she didn’t even have to ask! The bank’s customer service rep offered to do this, even though they were not a bank error. Addressing her medical reimbursements was the final thing on Amy’s F.H.D. list. She had a medical concern earlier in the year and had yet to deal with all the paperwork fallout from it. Having the space and time to organize this, Amy wound up submitting for $1675 in medical reimbursements.

All in all, Amy’s Financial Health Day netted her almost $6,000! Not bad for a day’s worth of work, no? And how did she celebrate? A wine connoisseur, she treated herself to a special bottle of wine to enjoy with her boyfriend that night as they celebrated with a delicious home cooked dinner.

As I listened to Amy share her account of her F.H.D., I thought about similar stories I’ve heard from other financial therapy clients. An image that continues to emerge for me as I listen is that of a shepherdess–with a beautiful golden crook–calling back into the fold money that has left the flock….money that is rightfully one’s own, but is lost out in the pasture.

Our responsibility to our financial life is to be a good shepherdess. To ensure that under our watchful eye our ‘financial flock’ is intact, that it is protected from predators, and to continually be ‘counting our sheep,’ making sure all is accounted for. Continuing with this imagery, there are times when I see myself as the ‘money coach border collie,’ assisting my shepherdess clients in rounding up their lost ’sheep!’

YOUR ACTION STEPS TO FINANCIAL SMITTEN-HOOD:

I’d like you to envision yourself a shepherdess of your financial life and give some thought to where there might be some of your “money flock” that is lost in the meadows or at the mercy of wolves. Grab your golden crook and gather it back into the fold. No Little Bo Peep attire required!

Please add to the conversation and inspire others by letting us know how much YOU reaped during your Financial Health Day in the  COMMENTS section below.

Share the Wealth! If this blog post was helpful, please share it via the twitter and/or Facebook links below {or via the social media site of your choice.}

“If you want to rear financial blessings,
you have to sow financially.“
~Joel Osteen

I am always talking with my clients about setting up “money dates,” which are weekly pre-scheduled periods of time to focus on nurturing one’s relationship with money. Ron Lieber, financial journalist for the New York Times, has written about taking a “Financial Health Day,” which is akin to the proverbial ‘mental health day’ so many of us take from time to time. You can read his article online here and it includes a short video ‘documentary’ of his day. [Spoiler alter: He ends his day shopping at Barney's!]

So what is a “Financial Health Day” and how do you make it a productive one? Basically it’s one full day you carve out as uninterrupted time to tend to a variety of the financial ‘to dos’ that are perpetually on your list. Ideally it’s a weekday that yes–you take off from work–to spend with your money. The beauty of it being a weekday is that some of your tasks will most likely involve calling service providers that are typically open only during business hours AND you can talk from the privacy of your own home without your cube-neighbor hearing all about your dental work reimbursements or your concerns about your credit score.

By taking this bold step, you are going to feel SO much more on top of things and in control of your financial life! To start, secure the day in your calendar and set limits so there will be NO interruptions. Make a checklist of the tasks you would like to accomplish. These might include:

=  Organizing your financial paperwork.
=  Researching questionable charges on your credit card bills.
=  Negotiating your cell phone and/or cable company bill. [Check out Ramit "I Will Teach You To Be Rich" Sethi's great tips on this here.]
=  Consolidating crucial financial info. Lieber used Merrill Lynch’s handy (and free) Financial Life Organizer to put all of his in one spot for easy emergency access.
=  Researching and contacting estate planners if you need to create or update your will.
=  Setting up a digital bookkeeping system.
=  Reviewing your credit report and score. You are entitled to three free credit reports each year, one from each reporting bureau, via the Annual Credit Report website.
=  Creating a monthly spending plan.
=  Scheduling time to talk with your insurance agent. Make sure you are properly insured and that you are receiving the best rates available.
=  Going paperless! Most companies now offer a ‘green’ paperless billing option. Research it and enroll.
=  Determining your net worth.
=  Reconciling the paperwork for you insurance reimbusements or FSA.
=  Tending to your emergency fund. If you have not already established one, determine how much you need and set up an automatic monthly deposit into a separate savings account to begin this process. {breathe a sigh of relief!}

As Lieber writes in his article, the best way to get started with your “mini money makeover” is to begin with the easiest tasks first. So, once you’ve compiled your checklist, review it and organize all of your tasks by level of difficulty from easiest to hardest. After you complete each one, cross it off your list. Before you know it, you’ll find that the satisfaction you gain from accomplishing each goal will give you the confidence and momentum you need to tackle the tougher stuff.

Now…one of my mentors would suggest having some delicious chocolate around to “sweeten the deal” throughout the day! Even if you do this I’d like you to think about how you will reward or treat yourself to something special after your Financail Health Day. What can you do to celebrate the time you invested in yourself and your financial wellbeing?

YOUR ACTION STEPS TO FINANCIAL SMITTEN-HOOD:
I encourage you to use the Financially Smitten community to help keep you accountable. Add a comment below stating and committing to the day you have scheduled for YOUR Financial Health Day. Then come back and share your experience and any tips or stumbling blocks you encountered. And, inspire us all with how you treated yourself at the end of the day!

This is the final piece in a three-part series on Compulsive Shopping by guest blogger Terrence Shulman, an expert in this area. Click here to read the first post in the series, “Are You A Shopaholic? And If So, Why Might That Be?” The second post, “Help! I’m A Shopaholic!”, can be found here.

A client who recently counseled with me to address her compulsive shopping problem is “Gretchen.” Gretchen is in her mid-40’s and is the owner of her own beauty business in a trendy suburb of a big city. She is divorced and has two young children–one with special needs. She comes from a very wealthy family who valued money and things and had high expectations that Gretchen would be “successful” in life.

As a teenager, Gretchen rebelled somewhat and was more of a “hippie” than a “preppy.” She was trying to find herself apart from her family’s values and expectations. However, during college, she gradually made a new set of female friends who seemed to be more into fashion and appearances and eventually some of this rubbed off on Gretchen. After all, she wanted to fit in.

Upon graduating from college, she had hoped to become a psychologist but she felt uncertain and ended up getting married to a man who turned out to be a severe alcoholic. During her 10-year marriage, she felt increasingly lonely and stressed and began to shop as an escape from her feelings and situation. Eventually, she got divorced and, due to her humiliation and vulnerability, she allowed her parents to encourage her to start a beauty business close to where they lived. They offered to help her financially to start the business and she took a knack to it.

However, she was still stinging from the divorce and deep inside felt like she was giving up on her dream of becoming a psychologist just to please her parents. In addition, in her business she had to dress a certain way and most of her clientele were very much into fashion and appearances as well. Eventually, she became stressed and felt trapped and lonely and her shopping got out of hand. She was buying clothing, knick-knacks, office supplies and her debt quickly mounted.

Gretchen had never really been taught much about money management; she believed her folks would take care of everything and, for a while, they did. But when they found out she had gotten into debt they were very disappointed and angry with her. They had no sense that this was a cry for help and a sign that something was out of balance. They reluctantly bailed Gretchen out but she never addressed the underlying issues and, within a short period of time her overshopping escalated and she became even more stressed about this and how to hide it.

Finally, she became so depressed she almost had a nervous breakdown. Her parents eventually discovered her shopping debt again and were dumbfounded about what to do. Gretchen found out about my specialized counseling services through an Internet search and immediately started counseling with me on a weekly basis, read my book, began to attend Debtors Anonymous and Alanon meetings, and avoided stores. I also had a session just with Gretchen’s parents to educate them about compulsive shopping as a real disorder.

In time, Gretchen began to take her life back and regain her dignity. She began to stand up for herself and make her own choices. By exploring her family dynamics, and in particular the conflicting values around money and materialism she was raised with, helped Gretchen understand the role her overshopping was playing in her life. It has been a joy to see this intelligent, vibrant, creative woman rebuild her own sense of self from the ground up. She is now a force to be reckoned with and she rarely gets the urge to overshop. She is able to devote more time to her children, a new relationship, and a new business.

Terrence Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAAC, CPC, is founder of The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft & Spending and a sought-after expert in this field. In addition to providing counseling services and training other professionals, he has appeared widely in the media including Oprah, Prime Time, and 48 Hours. He is the author of “Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping and $pending.” For more information and to contact Terrence directly, visit The Shulman Center website.

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.”
~Wayne Dyer

I just moved to New Jersey. Actually, my husband and I had been splitting our time between two residences for years, one in Manhattan, and one in NJ. Due some recent changes in our lives, and with the intention of being able to save more money, we recently decided to let go of the city apartment. So, as of the end of June we are now living full-time in NJ.

As I’ve been unpacking and combining the two households, it’s been feeling a bit like Noah’s ark….with ‘two’ of many things: two irons, two jars of nutmeg, two vacuum cleaners, two water filters, a total of 23 pairs of athletic socks, and more kitchen towels than I can shake a stick at.

As I describe this experience to friends, some have suggested holding a yard sale to unload the duplicate items. My personal preference is to simply donate the items we have no need for, but I’m finding that there is something deeper going on for me within this experience, underneath all of the ’stuff.’

This process is bringing up the whole notion of abundance and ‘enoughness.’ I’ve been thinking about something I heard years ago from Joan Sotkin of Prosperity Place. She was talking about abundance and shared a tip that she suggests to her clients if they are struggling to feel abundance and ‘enoughness’ in their lives. She asks us to examine and explore for any areas where we feel this, offering: “For example, do you have enough underwear? Is this a place that feels abundant for you?” [This popped into my mind as I was organizing the 23 pairs of workout socks that now reside in my dresser drawer!]

There is such power in acknowledging and appreciating all that we currently have and are, in the here and now. One concept, borrowed from the Law of Attraction tribe, I subscribe to is “What you appreciate, appreciates.” And getting in touch, in such a literal and tactile way, with all my good fortune has been reminding me of this.

As is so often the case with a move like this, there is an inherent decision making process that happens regarding what to keep and what to get rid of. So by its very nature, decluttering ensues. “Stuff” is always cycling in and out of our lives, and I aim to declutter on a somewhat regular basis. It’s not uncommon for me to ‘declutter’ things that I bought and wound up never using or not liking for some reason. I like to keep this top of mind during any post-decluttering shopping in an attempt to make more conscious purchasing decisions moving forward. I find April Benson’s Six Questions helpful here as well.

Even with this decluttering, the house feels very ‘full’ of not only of ‘things,’ but of love, warmth, laughter, and the ’space of potentiality’ in my new home office, a.k.a. “Financially Smitten HQ.” We are ‘good to go’ for quite a while in a lot of areas [I think we have enough nutmeg to last for the rest of our lives!] and this feels like a comfy place to settle into. Hello New Jersey!

YOUR ACTION STEPS TO FINANCIAL SMITTEN-HOOD:

Bring the concept of ‘enoughness’ into your consciousness this week and make note of the areas in YOUR life where you feel abundance. Use it as an opportunity to cultivate a deeper appreciation and gratitude for all of your blessings.

Schedule some time this week–even if it’s just 15 minutes–for some decluttering. It feels SO cathartic! We all accumulate stuff that winds up–unused–in the corner of the basement, the back of the closet, or under the bathroom sink. Perhaps you might even go through your sock drawer! Share the wealth by giving away or donating these items. Or if you feel inspired, resell them online or organize a yard sale.

I would love to hear about the areas of your life where you are experiencing abundance and enoughness. Please join the conversation in the COMMENTS section below!

This is the second piece in a three-part series on Compulsive Shopping by guest blogger Terrence Shulman, an expert in this area. Click here to read the first post in the series, “Are You A Shopaholic? And If So, Why Might That Be?”

With compulsive overshopping–as with any addiction–getting the right help is key. In addition, continuing to get help, change one’s lifestyle and understand the underlying issues increases one’s odds of maintaining longer-term “recovery.” Therefore, it is recommended that shopaholics seek the following help:

1. Specialized counseling or therapy (typically, general counseling will have limited benefit)—which will help with understanding underlying issues and development of a recovery program
2. Ongoing support groups (in-person, online, or by phone) such as Debtors Anonymous or Shopaholics Anonymous
3. Medication—seek out an addictionologist or a psychiatrist who specializes in treating addictions (some recent studies have shown the medications Naltrexone and Celexa have helped curb urges to shop)
4. Books—read books that are relevant to this topic such as “Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping and $pending” or “To Buy or Not to Buy”
5. Avoid stores or online websites which might be too tempting to visit—especially in early recovery
6. Tell key family and friends about your problem (if they don’t already know) and enlist their support in helping you stay accountable
7. Fill the void left by stopping or reducing shopping with activities that are productive, affirming, and engaging
8. Be on guard for substituting one addiction for another
9. Avoid certain people who agitate you or who tempt you to shop with or for them
10. Adopt various stress reduction activities such as exercise, yoga, meditation, or spiritual practices

Remember, recovery from compulsive shopping is a lot like recovery from compulsive eating or compulsive sex—the goal—unlike recovery from drugs, alcohol, gambling, shoplifting—is not total abstinence but balanced, healthy and moderate shopping/spending in time. Keep your eye on the prize or prizes: it may be to get out of debt, rebuild trust, recover lost time/opportunities and to learn who you really are. Embracing recovery allows new hope and discovery and greater peace and intimacy. If you are a parent, it also is very important to model healthy attitudes and behavior around money and spending and credit and about the relative importance of “stuff”: the children are watching and learning from us.

Terrence Shulman, JD, LMSW, ACSW, CAAC, CPC, is founder of The Shulman Center for Compulsive Theft & Spending and a sought-after expert in this field. In addition to providing counseling services and training other professionals, he has appeared widely in the media including Oprah, Prime Time, and 48 Hours. He is the author of “Bought Out and $pent! Recovery from Compulsive $hopping and $pending.” For more information and to contact Terrence directly, visit The Shulman Center website.